A Doggone Adventure
by Nature9000
Summary: Black Hayate and Den get lost in Central and they meet another dog while trying to find their way back. It's Royai, you'll see why when you read it.
1. Chapter 1

A Doggone Adventure

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal alchemist.

A/N: This wouldn't be considered a crackfic…I think. It involves Black Hayate and Den. Enjoy. Yes, the dogs do things that humans might do; I can't find ways around certain aspects. So if you see where it says one of them raises an eyebrow, don't tell me that dogs don't have eyebrows…

I did some research and found that Den is in fact a MALE dog. Someone stated Den was female, Den is male.

* * *

Black Hayate lay on the floor next to Lieutenant Hawkeye's desk; he lifted his head and sniffed the air. Hayate walked over to Colonel Mustang's desk and found a slice of bacon in his hands. "He has bacon!" Hayate barked. "Give me bacon!" Roy smiled as he held the bacon hidden underneath the desk. 

"You want it boy?" Roy said as he lowered his hand. He stopped and stood up.

"What no! Give me the bacon!" Hayate barked once more. He growled when he saw the reason he couldn't get the juicy, tender piece of meat. Winry Rockbell had rushed into the office. "I'm going to rip you apart for this…"

"Colonel Mustang, Den is missing!" Winry exclaimed. "I brought him here with me to Central and when I looked away for a second, he disappeared!"

"Den is missing?" Hayate thought as his tail lowered. "My friend is loose in Central? What the heck was he thinking? I know…I'll get Winry to let me go to Central." Hayate lifted his head and barked. "Allow me to go with you! I know Central well!" Winry looked at Hayate and smiled.

"Oh, that's so cute, what do you want?"

"I want to help you find Den!"

"Do you want a bone?" Hayate growled somewhat.

"Its times like these that I wish humans could understand dogs…" Riza put her finger to her chin.

"I think he wants something…" Riza said quietly.

"You're on a roll human master whom needs to confess your feelings to the human male with fire."

"Maybe he wants to do something with you Winry," Roy said as he crossed his arms.

"Close, very close human male whom loves my master."

"Maybe he wants to help Winry look for Den," Havoc said.

"That's very good, human male that needs a date!"

"Oh, that's so cute…Come on Black Hayate, come here…" Winry patted her legs and Hayate glared at Winry.

"What do you think I am? Do you take me for a cute little puppy or something? Why I am a noble dog of the military! Okay…it's not like that…but I am a military dog not a cute little _puppy!_" Hayate walked past Winry and let her follow him. Roy looked over at Riza and smiled.

"You know, I do love dogs," Roy said.

"We know," Riza responded as she sat down.

"Yeah, I adopted one just the other day."

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"This alley we're passing, this was where that Nina dog died a few years ago," Hayate stated. Hayate looked around and saw Winry looking at some automail. "No wonder Den went missing…" Hayate's head snapped to look in the alley when he heard a noise. "What the heck?" Hayate walked into the alley and froze when he heard someone speak.

"It hurts!" A voice said.

"Okay that's a little on the freakish side…" Hayate's hair stood on end when he saw a full apparition of a yellow dog with red hair walk to him. "Okay…I'm seeing things now…I better run!" Hayate started to turn around but blacked out when the ghost touched him.

Black Hayate groaned as he opened his eyes and felt a paw tapping his side. "What the…" Hayate's eyes widened when he saw a metal paw. "Yikes! What on earth!"

"Hey, Hayate, it's me Den!" Hayate panted as he stood up and looked at the dog in front of him.

"Den...Haven't I told you _not _to freak me out like that! Furthermore where are we and where is your metal loving master?"

"I don't know…I saw this weird ghost and then I appeared here." Hayate sighed as he and Den looked around. "As far as I know…We could still be in Central."

"Hey boys," A voice said. Hayate and Den turned their heads to see a black, female dog walking up to them. "Are you lost?"

"I don't know about metal leg over here, but I'm not lost," Hayate said with a smirk. He had to admit, this dog was a looker, and it seemed as though there was something radiating from her. Den looked over and raised an eyebrow.

"Uh…Hayate…" Den rolled his eyes as the female dog chuckled.

"I'm Coal; it's a pleasure to meet you two. What are your names?"

"I'm Den…My friend here is known as Black Hayate," Den said as he lifted his paw and closed Hayate's mouth. Hayate cleared his through and smiled.

"Yes, I am the military's dog!"

"So you're the dog of the military?" Coal asked. "I see…"

"Now it's only a negative term for the _humans_."

"Yeah, right…So mister almighty dog of the military, what brings you to this part of town?"

"That was sarcasm, wasn't it?" Coal smirked and walked past Hayate.

"I might be able to help you return to where you came from if you're lost…Of course, I don't see any point in doing so since one would think a military dog could figure his way around town."

"I can figure my way around, I'm just a bit distracted…I know _exactly_ where I'm at!"

"Okay, where are we Mr. Big shot?"

"I…don't know exactly…" Den sighed and rolled his eyes as Coal shook her head.

"Let me guess, you boys walked around some dark alley that smelt of old blood and saw a ghost, right?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?" Den asked.

"It happened to me," Coal responded flatly. "I'm not sure how it could have happened to me…Oh well; it doesn't really make any difference."

"So have you figured out where we are?"

"Eh, I figure we're somewhere in Central."

"Hah, so you_don't_ know where we are!" Hayate said. "Who's the big shot now, Ms. I'm better than a military dog!"

"I'd say the big shot is still…you." Den chuckled and Hayate gasped as Coal walked on ahead. "Come on big shot; let's try to sniff our way back home."

"You know, being neutered is a great thing," Den said with a smirk.

"Yeah right, then you can't have puppies!"

"I wonder if she's spayed…" Hayate raised his eyebrow and looked at Den.

"What are you thinking, have some decency!"

"I wasn't thinking anything…I'm sure it was all you." Den chuckled and walked on ahead as Hayate scoffed.

"Hey, I'm the leader here!" Hayate exclaimed as he ran up to the front of the group.

"Who said _you_ were leader?" Coal asked as she glared at Hayate.

"I did!" Hayate stated as he returned the glare.

"Oh, and why is that? Is that because you're a military dog?" Coal scoffed and looked away. "Some big shot military dog who doesn't even know his way around Central."

"Yeah, well I doubt you're any better!"

"Hey you two, please don't start fighting," Den said with a sigh.

"Humph!" Coal and Hayate looked away from each other as the group walked.

"I can find my way back just fine!" Hayate said.

"Oh…I'd like to see you find your way back home then. You can do that, I don't really care!"

"Fine, we don't need the likes of you with us anyway! Besides, you're just a fat, ugly, mutt!"

"What, Hayate!" Den exclaimed. Coal gasped and let out a growl. She then tackled Hayate and started biting him.

"How _dare_ you! You take that back you filthy mongrel!"

"Who do you think you're calling a mongrel!" Hayate quickly nipped Coal as she leapt back and growled.

"Please, stop the dang fighting!" Den exclaimed.

"Stay out of this, Den!" Hayate and Coal glared at each other.

"Fine, if you don't need me around then I hope you can find your way home on your own!" Coal shouted as she turned around.

"Yeah, good luck finding your way home, you'll need luck!" Coal ignored the words and walked away. "Come on Den, we need to get back to our masters, we don't have time to worry about that woman."

"I don't think it was right of you to do that," Den stated.

"We have more important things to worry about than some dumb girl in heat…"

"Was she in heat?"

"That's right, you're neutered you wouldn't be able to tell…Yes actually she was."

"Then that's why she was being all moody and angry. Perhaps you should go after her and apologize."

"Ah, who needs her…" Hayate continued walking ahead and sighed as Den followed.

---------------

"Damn that rotten mutt," Coal said quietly. "If my master knew what that dog was saying to me…I'm not fat am I?" Coal stepped onto a street and let her ears perk up.

"Oh, can I eat it, Lust!" A voice asked.

"Sure you can, we need some practice anyway," Lust stated. Coal looked back to see Lust and Gluttony standing behind her.

"Oh right…They think they're going to do a thing to me." Coal growled as Gluttony took a step toward her. "I'm warning you buddy, you better back off!"

"Come here little doggy," Gluttony said with a smile.

"_Little dog!"_ Coal growled and charged toward Gluttony. She bit him around the neck and leapt off. "I'll show you who a little dog is…I'll take you down in an instant!" Coal swiped her claws against Gluttony and once more bit his neck. Gluttony grabbed her back and threw her into a wall. "Ouch!"

"Gluttony lives to eat," Lust said as she crossed her arms. "Who would have thought a dog would try to fight back."

"Oh about one that hates your guts!" Coal charged toward Lust and had a nail shoot at her. It grazed her shoulder and caused her to fall. Coal let out a loud howl into the air when Gluttony grabbed her.

------------

"I thought you said you didn't care?" Den asked as he and Hayate ran.

"What, me be an idiot? Of course I care, I don't want to make enemies or make a new friend die!" Hayate exclaimed. They heard Coal begin to howl but not once did they stop running.

"I really wanted to play with that butterfly though!"

"Oh, shut up and help me sniff that woman out!"

"Sorry…" Once more a shout was followed by a wounded howl.

"We're close…" The dogs ran until they spotted Lust, Gluttony and Coal.

"Hayate, it's a fat man and a skinny woman!"

"Let go of the girl if you want to keep your life!" Hayate shouted. Lust and Gluttony turned to Hayate and raised their eyebrows.

"What does this mutt want?" Lust asked as she crossed her arms. Gluttony dropped Coal on the ground and she groaned as she opened her eyes. She growled when she saw Hayate.

"What do _you_ want, I can handle this myself!" Coal shouted.

"Oh yeah, well you're the one who's hurt!" Hayate exclaimed.

"Will you two stop arguing!" Den shouted. Lust and Gluttony sighed and shook their heads as the three dogs barked at one another.

"They're not that important to us, Gluttony," Lust said. "They're all strays." Hayate, Den and Coal jerked their heads toward Lust and barked.

"Who are you calling strays!" They exclaimed. Coal tried to leap toward Lust but winced in pain, Hayate rushed over to Coal.

"Are you okay?" Hayate asked.

"Ugh…no, my leg is broken…I couldn't be more thrilled than I am right now!" Coal tried to move her leg again and groaned. "My master is not going to be happy with me right now…I knew I shouldn't have followed that meat truck…"

"You're addicted to meat, aren't you?" Den asked. Hayate's eye twitched as he looked to the two homunculi.

"You broke her leg! You'll pay for that!" Hayate leapt toward the two and Coal's eyes widened.

"You idiot, what do you think you're doing! Those two aren't human!"

"I don't care, they won't get away with what they've done!" Hayate's teeth tore into Gluttony's flesh. He leapt back and growled at the two homunculi.

"How interesting, a dog is trying to fight us, I wonder why," Lust stated with a chuckle. Lust pointed her nails and shot them toward Hayate, he jumped out of the way and sunk his teeth into Lust's chest.

"Hey, do you _have_to bite her there!" Coal exclaimed. "What's with you, fighting these things!"

"I'll help!" Den exclaimed as he started to attack Gluttony.

"Ugh…men are complete idiots," Coal said as she pushed herself up. Her leg was in a lot of pain, she would have fought with them but knew it would be a bad idea. Her eyes widened when Lust's nail grazed Hayate's back and Den was tossed aside. "I need to get some help…their masters won't be happy!" Coal limped off until she found someone that might help. "Hey, it's the Fullmetal human!" Coal said as she saw Edward Elric standing at a store. "Fullmetal, help us out here!"

"What?" Ed raised his eyes and looked to see Coal barking at him. "What do you want?"

"Follow me you moron!" Coal turned and Ed shrugged.

"That was weird…I guess the dog doesn't need anything."

"Hey, Genius, I said follow me! Fullmetal, get your but over here!" Coal sunk her teeth in Ed's cape and tugged on it.

"Hey let go of my coat!" Ed dropped a piece of paper and Coal smirked. She quickly grabbed the paper and started to run off. "Hey, get back here with that!"

"It's hard running with a broken leg…" Ed followed her until they arrived to where the homunculi were. "Hayate, Den, I found help! Let's get out of here!"

"Why are you two fighting dogs?" Ed asked as he looked at Lust and Gluttony. The two homunculi were being overwhelmed and glared at Ed when he snickered. "You also look like you're _losing_"

"We are not losing," Lust said quietly. "Okay Gluttony, new objective…Fight Elric!"

"Oh..Perfect…" Ed transmuted his blade and charged toward the homunculi as they charged toward him. Hayate and Den ran over to Coal and helped her into an alley.

"Are you alright, how's your leg?" Hayate asked as he inspected Coal's leg.

"It's fine…I don't need any more help." Coal stood up and started to walk away.

"We should stick together!" Den exclaimed.

"Why should I go with you? You don't need a fat, ugly, mutt with you." Hayate lowered his head and pawed at the ground.

"Coal…I'm sorry for what I said to you," Hayate stated. "It's just been a little frustrating."

"Yeah, and don't forget you nearly died. If Fullmetal didn't show up then you probably would have lost to the homunculi. What would your masters think then? I hope you find them." Coal walked off but stopped when Hayate stepped in front of her.

"You would have died had we not showed up. What would your master think if you died?"

"He wouldn't be too happy…I'm more of a new addition to the household and my master is really fun and nice. He gives me a lot of meat too!"

"It would be a good idea for you _not_ to chase meat trucks anymore. Also, with that leg, it wouldn't be good for you to go out there by yourself."

"Why do you care anyway?"

"Look, I said I was sorry already. You're not fat at all!"

"Do you think I'm skinny?" Den started to whistle and Hayate took this moment to glare at Den. Coal just put him in a trap, if he said she wasn't skinny then she'd think he was calling her fat and vice versa. Coal smirked and Hayate became enchanted by the look on her face.

"You are neither fat nor are you skinny, you are a very…beautiful dog."

"Well nice save, I should reward you for that. I suppose I'll stick around with you two until we find where your owners are. I'm sure I can find my owner after that…"

"Let's try to find your owner first, you have a broken leg which needs to be operated on by a doctor. The sooner we find your master then the faster that leg of yours and your other wounds can be healed."

"Yeah, good point. Thanks for helping me out." Coal smirked and pressed her muzzle against the side of Hayate's face before walking on ahead. Hayate blushed and Den snickered.

"What's so funny, Den!" Hayate snapped. Den shook his head and walked ahead.

"Come on boys, you're taking a little too long back there!" Coal shouted. Hayate rolled his eyes and followed after her. The dogs walked through the streets with their noses to the ground. Hayate and Coal groaned every time Den stopped to play with an insect on the ground. "You know, Den, you shouldn't do that or you'll get bitten by one of those things."

"Sorry, I can't help myself," Den said with a smile.

"So how did you lose your leg?"

"I got ran over by a car…My master, she's really a great person! She loves me and plays with me all the time. Sometimes she'll throw a bone across the yard and I'll go fetch it! Sometimes she likes to play with my paws when we're on the typewriter…She's one of the nicest people I know!"

"He lucked out," Hayate said with a chuckle. "Don't get me wrong, I love my master with all my heart and would risk my life to protect her and the human male that my master loves. I would say her potty training method was a little unorthodox but…whatever it takes."

"What, did she fire a gun at you?" Coal asked with a snicker.

"Yes…It's no laughing matter either! Anyway, she's always warm and cares for me all the time. She even takes me to work with her sometimes."

"So that's why you call yourself a military dog…"

"Yes. Tell us about your master, what's he like?"

"He's fun, he_loves_ dogs and well since I've been adopted a short while ago he has always done something with me. We play with a ball and sleep by the fireplace. Well, I sleep by the fireplace. I love the fire, it's so warm and cozy, as is that rug on the floor that my master bought for me. Sometimes he'll let me sleep at the foot of his bed. He also feeds me some of his leftover food."

"Really, I didn't think any dog other than Den over here got left over food."

"I get a _lot_ of leftovers from my master!" Den said as he licked his chops.

"Well, I don't eat many leftovers…" Coal sniffed the air and smiled. "My master is making supper! I can smell it!"

"I recognize this neighborhood," Hayate stated, "I can find our way back from here."

"My house is right across the corner, thank you so much for helping. It was nice meeting you!"

"Right, it was good meeting you." Hayate and Den watched as Coal walked away. "Okay Den, let's get back to our humans, they're probably worried sick about us."

"Yeah…Hey, what do you think of Coal, do you like her?" Hayate groaned as he and Den started to walk.

"I'll never see her again so it won't really matter."

"How sure are you that you won't see her again?"

"I'm positive…As for whether or not I like her…she's okay, but that's about it."

"I think there's something more to it."

"No, there really isn't anything else."

"You like her." Hayate let out a low growl and glared at Den.

"I do not, I'm never going to see her again for crying out loud."

"There you are!" A voice exclaimed. Hayate and Den stopped walking and turned to see Winry behind them. "I was so worried that I lost you! Ms. Hawkeye would be upset with me if I let you go missing, Hayate. Den, come here boy!"

"It's my master!" Den said as he ran over to Winry. She embraced Den with a hug and smiled. She looked over at Hayate and smiled. "Lets get you back home as well…Don't tell Ms. Hayate that you got lost as well."

"Are you saying that _I_ would get lost, who do you think I am?" Hayate rolled his eyes and looked over to see Ed walking over.

"Well Winry, you're lucky Black Hayate isn't wounded too much," Ed said with a smirk. "I think he was the dog fighting the homunculi a little while ago."

"I wonder what would happen if homunculi were dogs," Den said quietly.

"Heh, yeah and dogs could perform alchemy, that'll be the day," Hayate said with a snicker.

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The next day started out just like every other day, Hayate lay beside Riza's desk and dreamed of the day prior. The only difference was that Roy was a little later than usual. His ear perked up when he heard Riza talking on the phone to someone, "So you're going to bring the dog then? Sure, we could do that…You're saying the reason you're later is because of its leg? What's wrong with its leg? Oh, I wonder how that happened…Oh, by the way sir, it appears the Fuhrer has a dog. I passed by his office and saw a dog sitting in his chair." Hayate lifted his head and raised his eyebrow.

"What's that about a leg?" Hayate thought. "Doesn't matter…" Hayate lowered his head back to the ground and closed his eyes. He stayed with his eyes closed and barely moved his head when he heard Roy finally walk in the room.

"Okay, come on girl, you're fine," Roy said with a smile. "These are my subordinates, they won't hurt you." Hayate sniffed the air, when did Roy have a dog? Hayate opened his eyes and saw a female dog walk in with a cast on her leg. Both dogs stared at each other and blinked.

"Wait…Coal!"

"You're Black Hayate!" Coal shouted in response. Hayate rushed over to Coal and sniffed her leg before looking up at her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here with my human, it's because of the leg."

"I didn't know the human male had a dog."

"Apparently he does."

"How is your leg, Coal?"

"It's fine. It will heal and so will the other wounds. My master doesn't know what happened yesterday, pity they can't hear us. However, I will say that I got a lot of meat yesterday when I returned home!"

"Hey, I think our dogs know each other," Roy said with a chuckle as he looked over at Riza.

"It could be, either that or your dog is in heat," Riza said as she crossed her arms.

"We should figure out what to do with that dog ghost," Coal said quietly. "After all, who wants that dog ghost doing strange things to people?"

"What do you mean?"

"I saw one human wielding a sword that went into that alley…It was while my master and I were going to the vet, the dog ghost appeared and gave the human a dog! It looked like the sword fused with him too…it was strange."

"Oh well, I say we don't worry about it."

"Are you sure? What could be more important than doing something about that?" Coal and Hayate looked over as Roy held out two slices of meat.

"He has food!" The dogs exclaimed as they rushed over to Roy. They could talk about their prior adventure later; right now meat was the only thing on the dog's minds.

* * *

There, I hope you enjoyed it. I just had to write this oneshot because the idea came to my head. 


	2. Sequel or continuation idea

A Doggone Adventure

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal alchemist.

A/N: This wouldn't be considered a crackfic…I think. It involves Black Hayate and Den. Enjoy. Yes, the dogs do things that humans might do; I can't find ways around certain aspects. So if you see where it says one of them raises an eyebrow, don't tell me that dogs don't have eyebrows…

I did some research and found that Den is in fact a MALE dog. Someone stated Den was female, Den is male.

* * *

I want your opinion, I'm considering either a continuation or a sequel to this story. Let me know if you think I should do such a thing. Pretty much the Nina dog or Alexander, I'm not sure which to call it, will be like Dante of sorts and the homunculi will be given dog versions of themselves. This means there will be dog homunculi in which we will have Hayate, Den and Coal go to defeat. The trick here is that they will in a way be like their owners, save for Den who will be more like Edward in the sense that he has an automail leg. Hayate won't have any special abilities other than being a good fighter. Coal will be like Roy in the sense that she will have fire. These homunculi will start to go on a rampage or something, I haven't thought up the entire plot just yet. Hayate, Den and Coal will go out to fight them. Tell me if you feel it would be interesting enough to make a story, or continuation of this. 


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